Finding a good marriage counselor who really cares about you and your marriage problems can be tough. When you experience constant bickering and arguments your self-esteem may be at its lowest point. You may feel afraid of a possible divorce, feel terrified and you may even worry about the welfare of your kids.

When you find yourself suffering from a troubled marriage, reaching out to a counselor may be one of the best things you can do. The type of counselor I am speaking of is a licensed psychologist, clinical social worker or mental health counselor who specializes in marriage counseling. These highly trained mental health specialists have seen it all and can give you valuable advice about your relationship difficulties and show you how to solve them.

If you are thinking about visiting a marriage counselor for the first time, you are probably feeling apprehensive. This is absolutely normal. After all, you (or your health insurance) are going to pay a stranger to learn about the most intimate and personal details of your life. You will be displaying a part of your life that you probably spend most of your time
trying to deny or hide. But the effort and any embarrassment can be well worth the reward - a new chance at the full and loving marriage for which you hoped.

When seeking out a marriage counselor, make a list of the features you are seeking. For example, take a look at what you might like about your family physician? Are you most concerned about someone who is sensitive to your concerns and with whom you have a good rapport? Are you more worried about having someone with flexible hours who can accommodate your hectic schedule? For some, the most important thing is having a very knowledgeable counselor with reputation and the most extensive training.

Whatever your specific needs and interests, a good counselor will treat all his or her clients with respect, patience, sensitivity, and courtesy.

Well-trained professionals will be able to answer all your questions and discuss your therapy options. Before your first visit, take the time to prepare a list of questions. Find someone to which you will feel comfortable talking, and with which you will be able to carry out an open dialogue. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask. Good marriage counselors want their clients to be prepared and require that they demonstrate a vested interest in their counseling.

If you find your counselor difficult to talk to, consider finding a new one. You should never feel rushed, ignored, or unable to ask questions. Let your counselor know about any anxiety or nervousness you might be feeling. This can help him or her become more sensitive to your concerns, and will probably result in a better visit for both of you.

If you have decided to take that important step of finding a good marriage counseling expert, here are a few tips for finding the best one. If the cost of treatment is paramount, consult your health insurance or employee assistance program at work to see if they cover counseling. Determine whether you are restricted to a specific network of professionals then make an appointment as early as possible.

What are the qualifications of a well-trained marriage counselor? He or she must be a psychologist, social worker, marriage and family therapist or mental health counselor that is licensed to practice independently in your state. This licensure often requires that they pass oral examinations and/or a comprehensive written exam. He or she will have graduated from an accredited graduate school and have completed specialized training.

Another thing to look for is membership in the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists or the American Counseling Association. Members receive continuing education classes, are peer reviewed and must remain in good standing to remain members.

Also try to find a marriage counselor with lots of experience. The one with many years experience is more apt to make an accurate assessment and provide an excellent counseling program.

About the Author

Dr Shery is in Cary, IL, near Algonquin, Crystal Lake and Lake-in-the-Hills. He's an expert marriage counselor and psychologist.